Earlier this week, Globular ranted about a badly translated chess book. This got me to thinking about those famously bad translated instructions in certain imported products, and what it would be like to read chess principles written in a similar style.
It turns out you can simulate the effect pretty easily using an online automatic translator. Here are some chess principles, translated from English to Chinese and then back to English using AltaVista BabelFish. If you study these principles carefully, your chess game is bound to improve!
“Develops the knight in front of bishop”
“Did not want not to live harmful King’s Knight/queen to defend to queen in the match before”
“By time counterattacks to a side attack meets in the center”
“Connects through pawning in the 6th rank is struck the rook”
“Bishop usual is better than the knight in endgames with pawns in committee’s both sides”
“The rook belongs in after pawning”
“When you favor the migration, sits in yours hand and sees if you can discover better”
“Moves each piece time in front of you moves each piece two only if has a clear reason to do so”
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And I thought I could procrastinate. You put me to shame!
Look at John Richardson’s translation of Ilf and Petrov’s 12 Chairs, and the 34th chess related chapter. He just makes it up as he goes along, perhaps unaware that all the chess terms used in the original are accurate. (One of the authors was a serious player). I’m surprised it slipped past the editor and into print….